freakin out

" Sometimes I sits and thinks
Most times I sits
And lots of times I goes to sleeps "

This lovely statement is the courtesy of an unknown author. My eyes fell on it recently and I thought how I would fit aptly into it .

"Most times I just sits." That pretty well sums up what I do with a lot of my time, a lot of my free time. But lately I've been going back to the first statement, "Sometimes I sits and thinks." And it's the thinking part which has piqued my curiosity.

Like yesterday I was sitting by the window, watching and observing the passersby during the rush hour of Chicago. For the first hour or so, I just sat, occasionally watching and moving my laptop for different comfortable effects. When I got tired of sitting beside the window, I moved up onto the couch , swangin' the day away . . . and thinking.

I enjoyed watching people, interesting or not, important or not, white collar or blue collar, people who may or may not influence my life somewhere down the road. Immigrants, locals, folks who have never ventured along the road of life who give me a different life perspective. All these people, all these successful and not-so-successful people give various meanings of life, each in their own unique way.

So , did I have a relaxed and enriched life more than anyone else or less than anyone ? But then again, where would I be, who would I be, what would I be if I was like that. Like so many countless thousands, hundreds of thousands, nay, millions of people around this country and around the world, I would simply be a bump in the road, a figment of someone's imagination, a possible ache in someone's heart about a possibility that may never have happened.

"Sometimes I goes to sleep." All of this can be so mind-boggling, so intense, so elusive, so worrisome, I wonder if it's really even worth the effort of thinking about. On occasion I get a headache just thinking about thinking about it all.

And when the thought processes get too heavy, too wide, too high, or even too far out, sometimes I goes to sleep.